what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
