he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
