Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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