I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
