I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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