Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
soo... how was my night?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
