sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
