You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
