just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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