Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
