Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Randomize