Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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