There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
