hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
