I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So apparently I’m into choking now
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
