You smell like stripper and shame
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
