THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
