I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
