just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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