If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
