therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
