I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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