i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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