I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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