Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
