just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
