Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
