I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
3 2 1 whiskey
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
