idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
