I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
