In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
