Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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