Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
