and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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