i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
