doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
