Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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