I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
