i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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