So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She is in my trunk
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize