Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
