singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
