You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
