In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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