dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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