Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
