There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
