you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Who put my cat in the fridge?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize