get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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