I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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