Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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