Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize