she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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