He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize