he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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