I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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