we have officially lost it.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
