i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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