the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
