so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
