you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
