So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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