is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
