i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
