My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
