Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
