Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Semen is not good for contacts.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
