good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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