come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You took a bar mat shot.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize