guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
