having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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