I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
