Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
